crimson clouds of pain

the slow wind begins to form
the calm before the storm
though I know the pain ahead
to run out, I turn my head

will you follow, will you come
these storm clouds soon hide the sun
tears of rain fall from clouds above
I look straight up for a dove

send your peace, break the night
dry the clouds come down tonight
I seek to find your wings of grace
I need to feel your warm embrace

I sink beneath the falling rain
to deal with this blood covered stain
take my hand, to my feet I gain
I’m giving to you my sin covered pain

the dove broke the clouds in the sky
I look up tonight, I know its right
only you could make me feel alive
for all I’ve done why must you die

for me to be free to live again
you had to take my ill hearted sin
this undeserved gift is your pain
yet I was the one to blame

you're so holy, I’m in shame
you're so perfect, I’m to blame
to you I owe a thanks for life
I give in to you, I choose life

I choose life, I choose the light
I choose life, I choose your sight
I choose you, I know it’s right
I choose you, I know its right
I know it’s right, I know it’s right

...read more on "crimson clouds of pain"!

blood and thorns

dirt under my nails
mud kicked in my face
covered by filth
you've beaten me down

thorns in my flesh
blood has covered my body
I’m bleeding, my blood is pouring
care to throw a towel

you called me a friend
now you want to kill me
you called me a brother
now you try to bury me

my offer still stands
drive the nails through my hands
I love you with every heartbeat
drive the nails through my feet

you can't run out on me
I’ll be there, I’ll always be there
I’ve taken everything that you did wrong
now it's gone, it's all gone

...read more on "blood and thorns"!

copycat chasers

corrupted soul of anger, of hate
jealousy that brings my heart to flames
trying to quench my desires to be like everyone else
I’ll never succeed to be like them

uncorrupted love and peace you’ve offered
copycat chaser, I’m chasing after nothing
chasing after something that’s just dying
I’m turning to you, they’ll never get me anywhere

advancing backwards is the direction ahead
ill turn around to follow you who gave
you’ve given more then those I follow
I’m following people into bottomless pits

you gave, you give and will continue to give
they took, they take, and’ll continue the same

I’m just a copycat chaser
chasing everything that fails
chasing everyone’s tails
chasing everything that fails

take me as I turn to you
guide me along the still waters
we’ll sing beautiful songs of praise
we sing praise together till the break of dawn

...read more on "copycat chasers"!

the story behind the movie: cHeZ

well there is no movie. sorry.
o.k. people are asking where the nickname cHeZ for krisann came from. i would refer to krisann to my american-hispanic (for all those PC'ers out there, it just meant he is a mexican, he don't care whatcha call him) neighbor as kri-sanchez, all because of another american-hispanic (PC term) friend named shane sanchez. well jody my neighbor told me of the actor named chris sanchez and we laughed at how close it is to kri-sanchez, then one of us said cHeZ, and well now it's stuck. jody, do you even remember her real name.. lol. she even answers to it too, try it, see if it works. don't tell her i told you, ;)

...read more on "the story behind the movie: cHeZ"!

the periodic elements made me a girlie man

yeah, so i tried stratera (the pills for adhd with stupid side effects) for a little over a month and i'm done. one got stuck in my esophagus, cHeZ taught me to swallow pills without water.. man i'm an idiot.. DO NOT DO AS I DO. it created some sort of burn in my lower epigastric region (lower esophagus), which has now turned into a hemereging, bleeding ulcer (probably at least, psssh, i mean c'mon) and it is the second worst pain in my life, next to an impacted infected molar that had raised out of its tooth bed because of the infection... trying to erase the memories. well i cant finish meals because it hurts.
i, by arnold schwarzenegger's standard, proudly wear the title "i am a girly man". mommy it hurts, wait that was out loud. so i have to go get an Upper GI (UGI), this is the worst doctor examine ever. i had to eat a spoonful of these crystals that expand your esophagus and stomache then drink about eleventeen (11-teen) drops of water which sure isn't enough. then chug this 8oz. cup of nasty imitation fruit flavored ick. of course it is about the consistency to toxic sludge but colored grayish white to cover up the glowing radioactivity. it is made up of boron nitrate, i do believe this is on the periodic table of elements, aye aye. this was worse then any drink on fear factor. then the doc has me twisting and contorting to get some x-rays. then comes the next 8oz. this a little thinner. doc says, "oh here this is good, its thinner and tastes good, mmm, tastes like cake batter, huh?" shaun in turn thinks quietly to myself, " hey doc, either drink up or shut up, this is what they should be feeding the terrorists at the camps, i am in pain and you're shoving periodic elements down my throat and having too much fun." i think now that the pain and suffering outweighed the toxic sludge i downed. oh and those crystals with all the movement and contorting causes much desire to burp, and then doc says, "don't burp or puke, if you do you will have to come back and do this again." well i didnt puke or burp, ok i burped a little, but what he didnt know won't hurt him, eh?

dukaga es me

...read more on "the periodic elements made me a girlie man"!

meds that do more harm than good..

those of you do have a self denial of ADD and ADHD ignore this (i suffer your plythe - made up word for ignorance of what is obvious and factual, it is clinical and real, face it), anyways... well i started stratera about a month ago.. its plainly horibbbbble!
Common Strattera (atomoxetine) side effects include (but not limited to):
(the ones in red are side affects i have suffered)
_ Problems sleeping/Insomnia
_ Dry mouth
_ Decreased appetite
_ Weight loss
_ Upset stomach
_ Constipation
_ Nausea and/or vomiting
_ Dizziness
_ Tiredness
_ Mood swings
_ Ear infection
_ Influenza
_ Irritability

...read more on "meds that do more harm than good.."!

D3AD3R THAN A D00RNA1L

one of my first bonsai's that i created from nursery stock. it died months later, ghadzucks... i hate the arizona heat, sun let us be.. quit killing all my stuff, gossshhhh. (napolean dynamite, i love him)
dukaga es me

...read more on "D3AD3R THAN A D00RNA1L"!

CaSTLE

you can play this wonderful game called 'Castle' at http://www.xgenstudios.com/play/castle/. but i doubt you can beat my high score.. and i am still going strong, this is a screen shot at level 173. muah...

currently on level 193, here are my current stats:
kills: 831,000
total monies: 174,660,595
builders: 1,200
archers: 2,530
mages: 1,000

dukaga es me

...read more on "CaSTLE"!

my childhood aspirations

as I look through the window pains
I see my whole life in the frames
as transparent as the glass
I sit and gaze upon my past

the candle burns below the brim
in the night the light grows dim
I see a reflection of a 6 year old
a child with heart of pride I’m told

am I what my dreams were then?
can I stand to breathe again?
have I really proven them right?
in my eyes it looks so bright

dreams of an aspiration
a long road of hesitation
I will, I can, I’ll prove 'em wrong
I’ll go, I know the road is long

a 6 year old, a life to gain
I’m old now, I’m running in pain
my life now I wont restrain
my 6 year old pace i must regain

little child I wont give up
young boy listen and sit up
I’ll prove 'em wrong, we'll be right
we can do it, we have it in sight

your faith is young as a child
more then mine, it’s so mild
through the frame of the window pane
you bring me joy to run again

ill run the race
ill set my pace
the finish line I’ll embrace
break the tape I finish with grace

thank you boy, my life, my heart
we are the same, just years apart
to see my past, to know my heart
I’ll remember you, perfect place to start

...read more on "my childhood aspirations"!

[A2r0n]x[N*MB]

[A2r0n]x[N*MB]
good page, i like it a lot, i am hoping to learn a thing or two in this world of eye candy tech.
spudnik_33

...read more on "[A2r0n]x[N*MB]"!

blue moons of testing my brains movement

studying... for school tests, no, oh but for licensing test, yessss. this is not on the verges of easiness lest any man should boast.. it relates me to the thoughts of climbing a nylon rope in the rain.. i have now slipped to the end. thus tying a not at the end has readily saved my life.. thanks to royal rangers i know how to tie a knot to save my life, b-dart (bryan dartanian for long) was told he couldn't tie a knot to save his life, bryan good thing you arent studying for my test. yes three days left till friday the day of dreariness, though i make it, may i wake up saturday morning afreshed and anew, senses may revitalize my blood flow to newer hieghts of putting day old tests long behind me to allow my youthfulness to carry on longer strides, awwww yessssss. good bye till next, may the dew fall sweetly on our foreheads till our gazing on the clouds turns to daydreams of a lifetime away.

...read more on "blue moons of testing my brains movement"!