mantelpiece memories

wake up and smell the roses
how long will i remain a picture on the mantle
a picture your mom put there of a time we all knew
a time when all was good
when your parents still loved each other
remember the songs from Sunday school

painted by brushstrokes of love
picture bought at a yard sale for a buck
she loved to look at the picture
dream of the life i gave her

wake up and smell the roses
how long will i remain a thought in your mind
remember when we talked every night
remember when I showed you it was all alright

lets remember those nights
tears to the chime of crickets wings
come closer till you see me in sight
till you sleep well just sing

painted by brushstrokes of love
picture bought at a yard sale for a buck
you know me, I know you
well hang till the brake of dawn

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am i a lab rat.. awe yes, eek eek

those of you who have a self denial of ADD and ADHD ignore this (i suffer your plythe - made up word for ignorance of what is obvious and factual, it is clinical and real, face it) well i am off the stratera, clean for about four weeks, after the girlie man incedent and nasty side effects i figured it wasnt worth it. im on to bigger and better rx's now. welcome the intrusion, adderall. well i will list the side effects once i see the effects in me. the thought of legalized and low ammounts of amphetamine slightly hinders my desires to fix me yet at the same time i say bring them on only 2.5mgs a day so far, we'll kick it up here soon.

living with a condition that 98% of people say "oh i totally know what you are talking about" when in reality they haven't a clue, is a far cry of ill compassion. the distance between my sanity and crazy insanity is.. well... all my scales measure in 16ths, not small enough. the stuff that goes through my head on a daily basis, no on an hourly basis, no, smaller, on a five minute basis has enough information to keep the common person busy for days and i somehow am suppose to or expected to suppress this to simple coplenar thoughts of educated speech efforts and rigid feelings. pssh. teachers, professors, adults, parents, head this warning, we think mucho differently, you dream to be rich and wealthy, own a big house have the perfect family, have all your dreams come true. do you know my wildest dream? to be able to comprehend just a few days of life and be able to do and think like the person next to me. aye, don't talk to me about how you relate, lets see the test scores, mwah, shut it. i get really sick of people who second guess the subject and play it off as relative to doctors prescribing meds just to get incentives from the drug companies. true this may happen but that doesnt mean it is all made up. live a day in my shoes and then we can talk, well if i had the choice, your shoes are mine, see ya, *shaun is outta here in your shoes faster than speedy gonzalez wearing jet shoes*

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big boys don’t cry

I never meant to fail you
in fact I only meant to make you proud
your look of anger broke my heart
this only leads to a dead end start

look at me now, I know you'd be proud
I know you would love me now
you could find a sure way how

my eyes teared, you said big boys don't cry
I say only real men cry, but you made me shy
I say who's the real man now
am I weaker 'cause of the tears?
they don't drown me
with them I learned to swim

look at me now, I know you'd be proud
you would love me now, you could find a way how

did I fail you?
would I make you proud?
would I make you smile now?

my anger has left
with the setting sun
no anger left, I think I’m done

did I fail you?
would I make you proud?
would I make you smile now?

tomorrow's another day
don't worry dad, I’ll make it to stay
nothing can stop me now
I’m going to make it, I promise I’ll show you how

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Abel’s day

where’s your brother, i hear his cry
where’s your brother, why must he die
you were the first of Eves
you'll never forget this with ease

the hate of friends
a brothers end
your gift was good
but your heart withstood

see the sin that waits at the door
you can’t stand, you’ll fall for sure
you'll leave my side
to be a wanderer you'll abide

though your blood line will fall
though your sin, you could withdraw
it'll lead mankind to drown
its holding you down, you’re tied down

help me, take me, save me
chase me, break me, fill me
lead me, guide me, forgive me
take my life, take my heart

I’ll follow, I’m turning around,
I love you, I hear your sound
I cant drown the world in my mistake
I surrender my life its here to break

help me, take me, save me
chase me, break me, fill me
lead me, guide me, forgive me
take my life, take my heart

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Legos and Architecture

awe the days of constructing housing communities out of legos for ants and building beautiful dream homes for all the bugs i use to catch outside under the bricks is yet behind me. no longer must we rely on directions printed to "3 year old plus" mentality. we are now in a day of building to standards set and imposed from the government to build safe structures of eye popping eye candy. oh the eye candy in the two and three story homes that lizzy lived in (my pet lizard), now that was one eye candy creation, all complete with roof propeller and all the colors of legos.
well the day has come, last friday i submitted plans for our home addition to add on 492 sq. ft. livable space and 160 sq. ft. of patio space. it will be nice, it will add approximately $43,000 of value to our home. that is quite amazing when compared to lizzy's mansion. when i added the third floor for lizzy it was approximately $0.73 of total valuation. it is not of need to compare prices for my living compared to lizzy and all the other backyard neighbors, the price is quite weighing.
well when there comes the day of a mini-shaun running a muck in the world be sure to it that he too shall be known as the finesse of lego dream home builders for all the backyard critters, awe yes the day to pass on my skill to yet another generation of fine builders, just remember to leave holes for breathing, but not to big that they get out, your mom will have a cow.
dukaga es me

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