reformat to end the old and bring the new

shut down the power strip
turn off my pride
is it all about me?
shut me down, hard reset

programs are open
pride speaking through digital mainframe
reset, no need to do this right
if it formats all is ok

it's not about me
my window only reflects myself
i've created a mirror out of my glass box
give me a hammer to break out

my prison is myself
held in by boasting
i’m truly empty inside
puffed up by emotions

surrender these broken shards of glass
to be broken is to live again
if i die, ill breathe again
reborn is better then the sight in these mirrors

powered down, i’m done with myself
reboot me and reformat with anew
breathe a breathe of fresh air
i’m new without the old

...read more on "reformat to end the old and bring the new"!

destination home

trees at seventy miles an hour
hundred and thirty three miles to go
eighth of a tank wont get us there
stopping in the bitter cold

fill this empty tank up
my heart will get filled at the destination
stark night at two a.m.
we will get there before dawn

fog on the windows
defrost can't quench the bitter cold
headlights turn to beams in the fog


mile markers fly by
countdown till our destination
one by one we continue to subtract
well be there before we know it

these destination streets are right
we follow these stripes home tonight

...read more on "destination home"!

broken treaty

i signed the treaty
yet you wage war
must i fight
or shall i retreat

after the fight
we all called peace
we know it wasn’t right
yet you still wanna fight

after all is said and done
lets sit to talk
every time you always run
maybe we can go for a walk

dear lets not despair
not everything has to be fair
i lock my lips
i'll end it this time

throw your hands in the air
clenched fists gets no where
stand to turn around
lets meet face to face

your anger turns to factions
create your militias
destroy battle grounds
fight the war, the treaty is broken

you bleed hate
i bleed fear
you want away
i want closure

sit to talk
pen in hand
sign the paper
the peace is safer

to run out is broken disaster
we can sign the treaty
friends till the end
we can hug, kiss, and make up

...read more on "broken treaty"!

falling away

your convicting eyes threaten me down
below cascading tears of sorrow
your convicting eyes push me down
to the ground my face down

shards of glass penetrate my heart
your thrusting stabs are convincing me
you change my mind without my commitment
its all fake, pain has changed my mind

but what i want to know
but what i need to know
will you be there tomorrow
will it be another day of sorrow

your convicting eyes hold me down
face down in the mud
your convicting eyes beat me down
face down im gonna drown

the tides change
to my feet i regain
you can fight my restrain
whats left is not even a stain

i beat you down, you are nothing
i suffer your plythe
you're absence is only a memory
like that you are gone

now whose face is in the mud
weasel yourself to be a worm
dwell in the mud, eat it you filth
live there for ever

my hate for you grows to a lot of faith
fate of hate is how the love should of started
my love for you is gone, be dead to me
i'm letting go
falling away
falling away
falling away

...read more on "falling away"!

the parades end

masterpiece of fingers all pointing towards the tiger
lets get up and finish the circus, the parade is almost over
untrimmed hearts of flesh, cold and all dried out
we are what we wanna be, the best of the worst till today

rowing on, lets move down, we can go, finish strong
i know where we are suppose to be, we missed the approach yesterday
if we try today then maybe we can finish it tomorrow
one approach a day, set the gear in the path

get the tiger on, we mustn’t waste now
this time if we miss it were through
we are wasting time, the tiger is waving us down
he is directing us on the right flight path now

surrender to his negotiation, he knows what is right
we can see and sense his splendor is in sight
land the plane, pick him up
if we don’t get him our lives are far stuck

let him fly, lets take his course
he’s flown before, we jumped out on him
its our turn now to depend on him
he’s a friend to take us to the end

...read more on "the parades end"!

iscariot's bitter demise

are you you, or are you a fake?
i need to know, i have my doubts, they've told me
you are not who u say u are, tell me is it lies
i need to know now, i’m dependent on your answer

if you are not who u say u are then what is this
if i’m not dependent on your offering, then what’s it worth
i get it, some money will buy me out, i can betray
life will go on, money will fix it all

i kiss you goodnight on your cheek, peace
you are collapsed and bound now
was it right, is anything right?
am i to determine this? we sat at the table to dine

we ate and u offered to buy, does that mark my doomsday
i shouldn’t of given in, am i to blame?
i’m going to run out on this one, you have heard the last of me
good by and good night for the last time...

good bye for eternity
good night

...read more on "iscariot's bitter demise"!

neglect to reflect

i see you staring at me, i’m staring right through you
wont you come hold me, come be with me
tonight will never end, we can romance under these stars
what is life without you, nothing, wasted days

i don’t want to waste it this time, too much idle time
lets make this worth it, we can begin again
lets put what’s behind us behind
lets put what’s ahead in its place

i see you staring at me, i see you, we meet eye to eye
i want more, i desire to know you deeper
i don’t want this time to end, will we do this again?
if i waste it this time it becomes nothing, wasted days

time and time again i reflect
missed opportunities
plans unfinished
regrets grown large
despair in focus
time and time again i neglect

lets do this right, lets take a stab
i know its worth it
we can walk on clouds not needing anything
i have you, its all sufficient

we’re at the end of the road
where choices are made
lets do this right
ill go with you tonight

...read more on "neglect to reflect"!

bridges fall, buildings collapse

ok here we go, can we do this for the first time
its a matter of chances
we'll nail it soon
its a matter of chances

nothing is alright
does anything seem different
same questions yield same answers
why waste our time

here we go, lets do this again
its a matter of choices
we got it, its right
its a matter of choices

if we do what we know then all is right
everything will lead to something new
bridges fall, buildings destroyed
aftermath in the break of new dawn

are we in the wake of disaster?
the walls are crumbling on me
light broke through
i see the ram on the other side

attacks are desperate
everything is a cess pool of carnage
i cling to rubble to stay up
you wont take me oh death, i have an avenger
where is your sting, be gone
come together my past

walls are aligning themselves
dust has returned dormant
rocks fit tight again
am i writing my wrongs

light has shown down again
there is no strength in disaster
strength is to rebuild again
i will stand on the mountain that was destroyed

here we go, lets do this again
its a matter of choices
we got it, its right
its a matter of choices

...read more on "bridges fall, buildings collapse"!

the long way home

i took the long way home
just to hear you whisper in my ear
words of love
all calibrated to my hearts emotions

can we feel the same, I don’t feel alone
we feel deeper than we can be
this love will bridge a century
our compassion will grow as hard as stone

i took the long way home
all I wanted was you, for me to hear
words of compassion
settled into a developed emotion

it feels so good to feel so right
hearts are bound for life
they say its all emotions
we’ll prove them wrong with our progress

we’ll bridge a lifetime of roads
all weaved into a love so thick
this love can’t be untied
let’s drive this love once again

...read more on "the long way home"!

incoherent thoughts

here i am, sleeves all rolled up
there you go, talking to empty air
here i am, ready to pick up the pieces
there you go, mindless of my presence

see me, to be me, just release it
gazing blindly, the thoughtless eyes
staring into where? empty air
walking slowly, the thoughtless steps

here i am, dirty hands, work to do
there you go, pondering flawlessly
here i am, reconstructing brokenness
there you go, looking incoherently

see me, don’t distract, come to me
eye to eye, you feel it's right
your refrainment ties my hands
loose your grip, release me, come to me

beauty of my presence fills your abyss
the bridge to your emptiness is my embrace
we will swing on chariots of love
the paradise of wholeness fills your emptiness

here i am, picking up the pieces
you are here, handing me the brokenness
here i am, where true love abides
you are hear, healed and by my side

unending grace, love eternal
what could pay back this gift
my pieces are mended and healed
i now know my serenity, my eternity is sealed

precious one, morning star
your son is so bright
pierced my heart tonight
precious one, morning star

thank you, I lay down to night
before I wake
my soul please take
thank you, I lay down tonight

...read more on "incoherent thoughts"!

no recess today, inside watching pinnochio

"well kids it's a rainy day schedule so after lunch come back to class to watch a cartoon", those were the best days in school. i remember rainy day schedules like they were yesterday. well it is thursday and its a rainy day schedule and concrete is coming saturday at 8 in the morning. if it is raining then i will shoot the clouds with a cloud gun, or something that will hurt the stupid clouds. i love rain, dont get me wrong, i could live in a state that was cloudy all the time, my favorite color is gray, but im not a person of gloom and despair, i just love clouds and rain. rain can tend to be a love hate relationship, just like satan.. its a 'i love to hate him' and 'hate to love him' relationship.. whats he think, he is so dumb. i would say to the rain clouds to flod him but we will let him roast..
so yes concrete will be here on saturday, NG Gritz, the rockstar plumber did a swell jorb on the plumbing at my house. first time pass for city inspection. hopefully we can start framing next week. rock on..

...read more on "no recess today, inside watching pinnochio"!

lego architecture for big boys

the finnese of fine lego architecture is thoughtless compared to the daunting task before us. jesse the rockstar plumber, or better known as 'NG gritz' is one awesome dude. he is willing to give his time to help me, reflections of who humankind is suppose to be. well i met with jose on saturday, and he bagan this morning. the agonizing dreaded 'BOOM' of the heartbeat of monday sounded at 6:45 as chez woke me up. i spent the first hour of the worst day of the week with jose and all seems to be on the same page. today he will have footers ready for concrete and NG gritz will finish up plumbing today.
--==warp out of story==--
the behind the scenes of 'NG gritz'. jade, amy, jon, andrew, jesse, and myself went to waffle house at midnight last week. jesse had never been to a waffle house. as the rest of us are all drawn to it like a pop-tab is drawn to a dr. pepper can. we never bnothered looking at the menu, for we knew'd what we wanted. jesse thought the waitress was going to read it to us, idiot. well he orders some food and hash browns. after several minutes of mouth watering minutes smelling the food cooked the cook turns around and points at me and says 'chris' and i in turn pointed to me and said 'no, i'm shaun', he then preoceeded to give me the funniest look as everyone started laughing. in reality, which i rarely venture in, he turned, pointed, and said 'grits' not 'chris' then when i realized it it was jesse that ordered hashbrowns not grits so i said no he's grits but actually got hashbrown not grits. the ng was a trademark from jade. whne we first get there jeese disapears to the bathroom, as if u need to wash your hands before eating at waffle house. jade leans to me and says, 'hey whats the new guy's name' and i said jesse but you can call him 'new guy'. so jesse returns and jade invites 'new guy' to sit next to him. Jesse in return says, 'oh no, just call me NG'. so jesse the rockstar plumber is now NG gritz.
--==warp back to story==--
we will have an inspection of plumbing tomorrow and hopefully be pouring concrete this coming saturday. stay tuned to the next installment of lego architecture for big boys. till next time, this is me signing out

...read more on "lego architecture for big boys"!

Blue moons results on the earths mass in relation to brain activity

Oh the joy, oh the inspiration, the dawn of another passage into what seems to be an endless fury on the narrow road paved by love but littered with stumbling blocks of one yet trying to stop our ascent to that narrow gate. The thief who strives to divert our eyes off the road will burn with the torment he has given, it will burn jealousy in his heart of us who has turned from him. How can one get pleasure in knowing we are turning away from the one who created him? Well it will come to him in his day. Yet the dawn of this passage is here. I step through and know that the stumbling blocks are coming, oh, but I will turn them into stepping stones, thanks to the thief who provided these stumbling stones, I only use them as stepping stones to achieve what he set out to destroy. Lets look back on the emergence of the dawn.

Wednesday, September 08, 2004
aye yae yae. The point of all my desires to study such deep knowledge finally brought me to the end, not the end of life, just the date I was scheduled to go put to use all that my mind had put to studying, a way of measuring what my couple pounded brain was able to soak up form words on a paper. Oh I studied probably eleventeen pounds worth of knowledge, unfortunately my brains capacity is only about 3 oz. Don't laugh they say that we only use a tenth of our brain, two pounds = 32 ounces, 10% would be 3.2 oz. So I am two tenths short of full capacity I guess. So if that would be put to grade you could subtract 20% from my grade. So scientifically I should receive an 80% on my test, wha hooo. That's really not that bad, it was frickin hard, give me a break. you'd a choked for sure. Well its behind me now. I wont be able to get my test scores till the end of this month so stay tuned for the blue moons results on the earths mass in relation to brain activity.

Well here are blue moons results on the earths mass in relation to brain activity. Those of whom (you may be one yourself) thought that my calculations were a far plythe from reality, be gone. The scientifical approach I took seems to be one of more than the least amount of hypothetical reasoning. My expected 80% on the test turned out to be an understatement. My calculations of 3oz. must of been slightly off, it was an actual 3.7oz. to be exact to give me a positive score of 86% therefore passing and receiving the letter to step in and venture into the new dawn. Son of man, sun of morning here I come.

...read more on "Blue moons results on the earths mass in relation to brain activity"!

egphhhh, aaaaarghhh..

Thus far the drum of Monday beats at my heart like a silent attack of hatred. Oh I dislike Mondays, eh. Well the rest of the week should do me ok, but I guess its 100% my reaction to what happens so therefore I choose to have a good week. Eagerness to make a buck due to whatever crisis you want to call it, doesn't matter on this daunting morning, recent escalating prices on oil drums has escalated to near terror in itself. Well Chez informs me that my '73 bug is running on fumes when I'm already running late. Eh, yesterday would of been nice to know this sweet inhalation, BOOM, as I feel my heartbeat frustration. First gas station, every pump has someone their pumping there 20 gallons into their beasts at $2.08 a gallon, BOOM, the beat of anger. I need a mere 8 gallons to fill Betsi up (named after Betsy). Next station four miles away, petting Betsi and pleading with her to not run out of gas and strand me on the side of the road next to thousands of cars speedily on their way to work (the thought of someone stopping to help seems pointless in such a selfish microwave society). The drum beats of hatred once again, BOOM. The first electronic machine to purchase gas does not allow for user input *stupid broken dumb piece of man's machinery, I think to myself*, BOOM. I go to the next machine and it wont except the dear lady in front of me's card nor mine, BOOM. I go inside to purchase my measly 8 gallons, there ATM machine is down, BOOM. I have no cash, BOOM. So now I still have a 11 minute drive to work and its 2 minutes till I have to be there and I still have to get gas, BOOM, my heart beats anger. I go 3 minutes out of my way to finally get my 8. And get back on track... I get to work, no one is here, YES, everyone is late, I get to be by myself... I relax to sit down and type this. THANK YOU GOD for my ability to choose my reaction to the life that has succumb to be my ally. Why should I allow Satan to throw stumbling blocks in front of me, Satan I welcome them, they are just stepping stones on to which I can thwart your desire to try to steal, kill, and destroy my freedom and joy, and happiness, once again you can't prevail. Must feel good to be such a loser.

...read more on "egphhhh, aaaaarghhh.."!

mantelpiece memories

wake up and smell the roses
how long will i remain a picture on the mantle
a picture your mom put there of a time we all knew
a time when all was good
when your parents still loved each other
remember the songs from Sunday school

painted by brushstrokes of love
picture bought at a yard sale for a buck
she loved to look at the picture
dream of the life i gave her

wake up and smell the roses
how long will i remain a thought in your mind
remember when we talked every night
remember when I showed you it was all alright

lets remember those nights
tears to the chime of crickets wings
come closer till you see me in sight
till you sleep well just sing

painted by brushstrokes of love
picture bought at a yard sale for a buck
you know me, I know you
well hang till the brake of dawn

...read more on "mantelpiece memories"!

am i a lab rat.. awe yes, eek eek

those of you who have a self denial of ADD and ADHD ignore this (i suffer your plythe - made up word for ignorance of what is obvious and factual, it is clinical and real, face it) well i am off the stratera, clean for about four weeks, after the girlie man incedent and nasty side effects i figured it wasnt worth it. im on to bigger and better rx's now. welcome the intrusion, adderall. well i will list the side effects once i see the effects in me. the thought of legalized and low ammounts of amphetamine slightly hinders my desires to fix me yet at the same time i say bring them on only 2.5mgs a day so far, we'll kick it up here soon.

living with a condition that 98% of people say "oh i totally know what you are talking about" when in reality they haven't a clue, is a far cry of ill compassion. the distance between my sanity and crazy insanity is.. well... all my scales measure in 16ths, not small enough. the stuff that goes through my head on a daily basis, no on an hourly basis, no, smaller, on a five minute basis has enough information to keep the common person busy for days and i somehow am suppose to or expected to suppress this to simple coplenar thoughts of educated speech efforts and rigid feelings. pssh. teachers, professors, adults, parents, head this warning, we think mucho differently, you dream to be rich and wealthy, own a big house have the perfect family, have all your dreams come true. do you know my wildest dream? to be able to comprehend just a few days of life and be able to do and think like the person next to me. aye, don't talk to me about how you relate, lets see the test scores, mwah, shut it. i get really sick of people who second guess the subject and play it off as relative to doctors prescribing meds just to get incentives from the drug companies. true this may happen but that doesnt mean it is all made up. live a day in my shoes and then we can talk, well if i had the choice, your shoes are mine, see ya, *shaun is outta here in your shoes faster than speedy gonzalez wearing jet shoes*

...read more on "am i a lab rat.. awe yes, eek eek"!

big boys don’t cry

I never meant to fail you
in fact I only meant to make you proud
your look of anger broke my heart
this only leads to a dead end start

look at me now, I know you'd be proud
I know you would love me now
you could find a sure way how

my eyes teared, you said big boys don't cry
I say only real men cry, but you made me shy
I say who's the real man now
am I weaker 'cause of the tears?
they don't drown me
with them I learned to swim

look at me now, I know you'd be proud
you would love me now, you could find a way how

did I fail you?
would I make you proud?
would I make you smile now?

my anger has left
with the setting sun
no anger left, I think I’m done

did I fail you?
would I make you proud?
would I make you smile now?

tomorrow's another day
don't worry dad, I’ll make it to stay
nothing can stop me now
I’m going to make it, I promise I’ll show you how

...read more on "big boys don’t cry"!

Abel’s day

where’s your brother, i hear his cry
where’s your brother, why must he die
you were the first of Eves
you'll never forget this with ease

the hate of friends
a brothers end
your gift was good
but your heart withstood

see the sin that waits at the door
you can’t stand, you’ll fall for sure
you'll leave my side
to be a wanderer you'll abide

though your blood line will fall
though your sin, you could withdraw
it'll lead mankind to drown
its holding you down, you’re tied down

help me, take me, save me
chase me, break me, fill me
lead me, guide me, forgive me
take my life, take my heart

I’ll follow, I’m turning around,
I love you, I hear your sound
I cant drown the world in my mistake
I surrender my life its here to break

help me, take me, save me
chase me, break me, fill me
lead me, guide me, forgive me
take my life, take my heart

...read more on "Abel’s day"!

Legos and Architecture

awe the days of constructing housing communities out of legos for ants and building beautiful dream homes for all the bugs i use to catch outside under the bricks is yet behind me. no longer must we rely on directions printed to "3 year old plus" mentality. we are now in a day of building to standards set and imposed from the government to build safe structures of eye popping eye candy. oh the eye candy in the two and three story homes that lizzy lived in (my pet lizard), now that was one eye candy creation, all complete with roof propeller and all the colors of legos.
well the day has come, last friday i submitted plans for our home addition to add on 492 sq. ft. livable space and 160 sq. ft. of patio space. it will be nice, it will add approximately $43,000 of value to our home. that is quite amazing when compared to lizzy's mansion. when i added the third floor for lizzy it was approximately $0.73 of total valuation. it is not of need to compare prices for my living compared to lizzy and all the other backyard neighbors, the price is quite weighing.
well when there comes the day of a mini-shaun running a muck in the world be sure to it that he too shall be known as the finesse of lego dream home builders for all the backyard critters, awe yes the day to pass on my skill to yet another generation of fine builders, just remember to leave holes for breathing, but not to big that they get out, your mom will have a cow.
dukaga es me

...read more on "Legos and Architecture"!

the blue mo0n has passed

aye yae yae. the point of all my desires to study such deep knowledge finally brought me to the end, not the end of life, just the date i was scheduled to go put to use all that my mind had put to studying, a way of measuring what my couple pounded brain was able to soak up form words on a paper. oh i studyed probably eleventeen pounds worth of knowledge, unfortunatlely my brains capacity is only about 3 oz. dont laugh they say that we only use a tenth of our brain, two pounds = 32 ounces, 10% would be 3.2 oz. so i am two tenths short of full capacity i guess. so if that would be put to grade you could subtract 20% from my grade. so scientifically i should recieve an 80% on my test, wha hooo. thats really not that bad, it was frickin hard, give me a break. you'd a choked for sure. well its behind me now. i wont be able to get my test scores till the end of this month so stay tuned for the blue moons results on the earths mass in relation to brain activity.

...read more on "the blue mo0n has passed"!