AIM IM with RC 7/3/08 4: 11PM
RC hey bud.I shared this for a few reasons.
SM hey man
SM outta cali yet?
RC nahh
SM or stayin for the 4th
RC yea
RC how's the disc golf?
SM went good, nice to get out but a little warm, you ever play?
RC I'm jealous, of course, we have the third hardest course in the nation in my hometown
SM that is awesome
RC hey, I have a couple questions for you...
SM sure..
RC you're married, right?
SM yes
RC ok, How did you KNOW that your wife was the girl for you?
SM God, i know that was the answer u were expecting to hear
RC haha, well, I mean, what made it click in your head? like, there had to be something that just TOLD you that she was IT
SM i had made a vow that i would not date until it was the girl god wanted me to marry
and then when we wanted to date i prayed about it and knew that was what i was suppose to do
many said we were young and didnt know, but i knew
RC how old were you?
SM then, 19 when we started dating
RC not bad... yea...I'm just asking cuz, well, I met this girl... and I think she's perfect... well, more than perfect, if that makes sense
SM if there was one thing that you could change about her what would it be?
RC where she lives, lol, hmm... lets see... I'm really not sure... dang
just curious, what is the point that you are trying to make? cuz I think you have one...but I don't know what it is
SM haha, sometimes we look at people and wish we could change things about them. No matter how perfect she may seem now, sooner or later you will find something u wont like
RC mmk
SM you must be able to accept those things that you cant change
RC i was just about to ask how you handle that...
SM the truth is you cant change someone else, you can only change your perspective of that which you dont like
RC wow. thats good
SM that will help you not only in marriage but in every relationship you are in!
relationship/friendship/etc
RC yea... dang, thats good ;0 you're the freaking man...
SM in changing our perspective it allows them to keep their own personality and character
and be themselves and allows them to live more whole
RC wowww. yea, I need to get to AZ.
and chill with you for a while
SM when we try to change them we force them into our box of perfection then they always are trying to live UP to our standard and then they end up feeling like a failure
and in marriage that is not healthy, she then feels like she is hurting you then makes you go on a power trip and puts u in control and not in a healthy manner
RC wow.... i never would have thought of something like that
SM marriage isnt about power, its actually about submission, "wives submit to your husbands, husbands love your wives"
RC loving is submitting, yea?
SM in loving our wives we submit to their needs, they submit to our spiritual authority
two different kinds of submission
RC wow...
SM control authority and spiritual authority
RC yea
SM that will get u mileage in a relationship
RC it makes so much sense!!
SM good, and know that girls never make sense, haha
RC haha, yea, I got that one
SM dont ever tell them that, thats not good either, haha j/k
RC yea, that would be bad
wow... dang dude... how'd you get so smart? like, I'm still shocked. for lack of a better term.
SM ran to a wall a lot and too many drugs, lol, no idea
i dont see my self as smart as much as i would say i am an observer
learn to watch your world and learn from it
RC ahhhh
SM be experiential and allow everything to be a moment of Ahaa!
RC I like that.
SM i want to blog this conversation, is that cool with you?
RC I am down for that... whats your blog site?
SM www.shaunmayfield.com
RC haha...you have a blogger account with your own domain name! Awesome!
SM haha, i figured i better get it before someone else does
RC haha, yea. I don't know what I would do without friends like you.
SM awe, thanks man, that is very cool, im glad we got to know each other in ATL
RC haha...yea. I'm very glad for that. I'm gonna blog this convo too, just so ya know
SM sweet man.
RC You honestly don't know how much this meant to me... I honestly feel a whole lot better..cuz I was worried about so much...
SM that is so cool
RC yay for friends who are there for each other!!
SM haha, woot!
1. Take a good look at how you see people and understand the ability to change our perspective on someone else's 'lack of' and realize that we can either focus on the 90% negative of who they are to us or we can look at the 10% positive and focus on that and begin to change the only one we control... ourselves!
2. Marriage is about love and submission. Wives submit to the control authority, ultimate say so goes to the husband... HOWEVER, and a big however, before any one presumes I am chauvinistic. (Just ask my wife, I am not allowed to be chauvinistic ( that's a joke, get it?!?)) When husbands truly love our wives we then submit to there needs, emotionally, physically and mentally, there creating a balance.
3. I am not smart, as matter of fact, I consider myself to not learn as well as others and I am self-admitted learning disabled (no doctor proof as of yet). However I have learned to observe the world around me. This point deserves a blog on it's own and will quite likely lead to a blog/book/short story of some kind to show how my outlook on life is all from observing; it is what I have coined reasonable deduction (common sense+mathematical calculations+not allowing ignorance to blind me). Be a watcher, soak up your environment, breathe slowly and observe the motion, hear the dialect, watch the mannerisms, be a learner, be a CREATIVE!
7 comments:
In point number 2, you contest that a balance is created when wives submit to the husband's control authority and husbands submit to the wife's physical, emotional, and mental needs. Are you implying that a husband does not have the same physical, emotional, or perhaps mental needs as his wife, and simply needs to be in control?
Absolutely not, a man's needs is as large if not larger for the emotional, physical, and mental needs. I say more because it is when most men lack any of those three areas they then depend on the wife to support them. That is not the way the husband was intended to live. Men and women each have their own strengths and weaknesses as a sex, that is why we need each other. Women by nature are not as strong as men physically, emotionally and mentally (I know I may be attacked for saying this). They have their own strengths of nurturing and comforting that a husband/father does not naturally have. When a women submits in a biblical way to her husband she is lifting him up emotionally, mentally and physically. Emotionally because he has the sense of being needed. Physically because he now has something he feels is worthy to protect. And mentally because he senses the approval of his mate. The need for the bible to approach the woman's submission and the man's love is because men and women are clearly wired differently. This is natural and healthy. And let's also be warned the husband's control is not a power trip nor should it ever be used as a dictator mentality. The husband loving his wife is submitting. The bible is beautiful in that when both the husband and wife do their parts of loving and submitting each one is fulfilled.
THAT is why YOU are my hero Shaun.
I bet you did a lot of LSD in your day.
So Mr./Mrs. Anonymous, instead of trashing on me, maybe you could share your thoughts. Don't be that shallow to character assassinate me, instead share your views!!!!
I'm terribly sorry for coming across in a way that I had not intended. I am not trashing you in any way in either post. What I meant was that it seemed like this kind of introspection is commonly derived from the recreational use of LSD. I agree with your views, and my first post was to clarify something I did not understand.
LSD? With Jesus, who needs any mind altering drugs! Shaun, more men and women need to read what you have written about marriage. When you marry, you become one, therefore you want to fulfill all the needs of that mate. I've been married 52 years and find I still want the best for my helpmate.
Keep up the good work.
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